"[S]creamingly funny yet deadly serious... A review can’t really do Beckerman’s book justice... Nor is it easy to do justice to the genius of his writing..."
—The Moderate Voice
Hate Mail
(Collected from 1999-present; I swear these are all real)
"Your a sick person with a serious problem. I am not a worthless person because I'm a cheerleader. I deserve a lot more respect then that. I would like to see you try to do what us cheerleaders do during games,practices, and or competitions. We work hard and we work together. On the other hand we have to deal with people like you who act like they are superior to us and think that we are nothing. But when you look in the mirror marty tell yourself that you are worthless and have nothing better to do then act like and ass. that all i have to say to you. bye"
"I'm writing to tell you that I am praying for you. I hope that someone in your life will show you how wonderful my Jesus is. -For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee."
"I think your opinions very uneducated -cheerleading is a very respectible sport-i am on an all-star squad and i am practicing long and hard for my sport. You are right in that no one can prove that God really exists (only through bible and prayer), but i think you should be afraid because of some of the things you are saying-they not only offend me, but they offend God as well."
"I read some of your columns, one in particular that interested me, you wrote about attending a children's beauty pageant. I have 3 nieces that participate in them, I personally do not agree with their mother making them do that but I am not their mother, even though I thought that the way you choose to go about your column was tasteless and tacky, it was not that that bothered me, in your quest to uncover the world of child pageants you did nothing but celebrate your own ignorance, you had a few good points in your column but that was over shadowed by your own lack of class. I was offended by your disrespect. what if I wrote an article and referred to Alaskans as being full of sheltered,ignorant, young minded white boys, that sir is what you have proven yourself to be in my eyes. I live in the inner city and I could not imagine a young white boy coming to my neighborhood talking the way you talked, I bet if you tried it you would think twice before you spoke like that again?!!!? dont get me wrong your opinion is not what bothered me it was your disrespectful,offensive, and degrading remarks that piss me off. while I was reading it I cant lie I was thinking 'I cant believe this kids nerve. what the hell does he know about anything and he's all the way out in the boondocks of Alaska, what the hell does he know' I'm not writing this to piss you off or offend you but I was telling you for future reference you have a good writing style and you never know who could be on the net reading your column you could miss an opportunity of a life time offending people like that."
children home. Marty, I pray that you will make the right choice to be one of those children. You see Jesus chose you along time ago when he did all of this for you and I. I just ask you to seriously and deeply consider praying and asking
Jesus to forgive you of your sins, that you will find Christian Friends to hang out with, and that you will use your talents to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You see, we all make choices and choices result in consequences. Please Marty, choose Jesus Christ as your Personal Saviour. I promise that if you do this and make an effort to make changes in your life, you will never be the same. Jesus, I lift Marty up to you tonight. He is a young man with awesome talents and abilities. I just ask you Jesus to soften his heart, mind and soul to hear your voice and know Jesus that you are speaking to him. I pray that his Mother and Father, Brother's, Sister's, Aunt's, Uncle's and any other Family and Friends come to know and serve you through Marty. I know Jesus that he is an awesome young man, and while I work daily with our Cheerleaders and our Youth Group that these young people will lift Marty up to you daily as well. Jesus I love you and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share your love through this email with Marty. Thank you for opening his eyes, heart and mind to hear your voice. In Jesus Name, Amen. Marty I truly wish you the best and please know that daily our Cheerleading Team will be praying for you. We will make a difference and you have provided clear direction as to how these young cheerleaders need to pray. May God Bless You! Cheerfully Serving Him"
the continental United States, let alone representative of the quintessential American city. No...I think it is obvious--to all of your peers who know their asses from their genitalia--that your so-called writings are merely a manifestation of your homoerotic, female-hating, sexually repressed psyche. You have somehow managed to dupe those who are otherwise respected (and, not surpisingly, those who are not) into thinking you're some kind of representative of
the youth in this country. In case you're now being manipulated into believing this bullshit, let me assure you that you're nothing but a lark--a plunge--and that the banality of your sub-par scribblings will surface eventually (however tardily). Sincerely, a true, honest-to-god rep of Gen-Y-ers who, unlike you, is privy to the actual goings-on of people under 24)"
exclusively about ninth grade girls being sodomized and being otherwise taken advantage of in disgusting proportions. (I find this immensely creepy and troubling and I'm sure I'm not the only one.) What is wrong with you? you don't seem to be able to relate to women in a way they would even begin to comprehend. Do you know ANY real women at all? Or did you grow up in a fallout shelter with women in bunny ears and silver nipple tassels who nursed you until you were nineteen? I mean REALLY. I don't care how many people claim to support what you do, your book was the single worst piece of trash I've ever read in my life. There is such a lack of intelligence or effort in your writing that I can't help but think that your only inspiration for writing it was to supply images for your own demented fantasies. Instead of encouraging people to buy your book to learn more about 'Generation Y' you should have just handed it out at 50c peep shows to other perverts. I honestly think that you need help. You are a very sick person. I love books, and I always thought that book burning was the stuff of tyrannic rulers and cruel dictatorships. This being the case, as soon as I finish this e-mail your book is going directly into the dumpster outside of my apartment building. I will then take a shower, because frankly, I feel dirty after reading your book. Try not to picture me rubbing soap over my breasts or penetrating my anus with the shower head. I know it might be a stretch."
"YOU LOOK JEWISH . THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, YOU ARE WASTED PERIOD"
"your not an American you are a shit head zionist Beckeerman did your bastared relatives in germany have to buy that last name> you are a low life, go back to israel shit head your stinking nose looks like an uncercumsised cock kyou are a left wing red father fucker"
"I read your entire book, I read it all, just so I can make a full argument on how I find it dispicable. Though your language is pitiful and your statistics are nonsensical. Also as I see on your website you're holding a shot glass, I have no clue what substance it holds, though it still sends the message that great oh wise Marty drinks. How is this supposed to help people realize that the 'Y generation' is horrible. This comment is running terribly long, and I doubt you'll even read it, or reply. Though I would like my message to reach you, I have no clue how you would defend yourself,but this book tells me you're a chauvinistic male that is naive and shouldn't be listened to."
"you sick fuck i just finished reading your generation slut book, and i have to say, i was disgusted at some of the things YOU said...your obsession with huge tits and sex is repulsive and its a shame that anyone would call you a ray of light. You cant spew shit about sex without love being bad when you're so goddamned into it. if its so bad, why do you keep doing it? im just glad not all guys are like you. you think that acting like an asshole with a big tit fetish and no respect for people is going to make people respect you and take you seriously? i dont give three shits if youre monogomous, if youre still thinking about balloon tits, youre still disgusting. i think your stuff would have a way better impact if you actually pretended to be a decent guy instead of an asshole. if every man on the face of the planet liked balloon tits then id be a freaking reject. im sorry you have such a low opinion of your gender, but there are guys out there who actually have taste and appreciate a nice shape and not vulgarity like you do. I actually know plenty of men who are disgusted at big tits also, men seeing women as a blow up doll is NOT attraction. I am attracted to men, but i dont see them as freaking toys. most guys with taste dont like these types of boobs, andits only for vulgarity's sake that some men are attracted to this. i think its obvious i dont have a problem with the male gender just because i dont like rednecks who like evertything bigger in texas? lol wtf you dont find the female body attractive. you find it vulgar and think of it only in terms of sex. With how vulgar you talk it seems youd be into plastic tits and lipo. Yeah okay im willing to bet most guys would go after a girl with my body type, smnall boobs and all than they would after a girl with say, your girlfriends body type Vulgar rednecks included sorry, just because you have disgusting taste and grew up in a small town where peop[le had nothing better to do but get drunk and fuck random people doesnt mean everyone is the same way. Saying all men like huge vulgar tits is like saying all girls like big bulging muscles. A lot of women actually find that repulsive"
"I will have you know that I have been involved with cheerleading for almost 20 years, and I have never been 'loose', or a 'bimbo' for that matter. In fact, I had eyes only for my husband, and I maintained at least a 3.5 GPA all through high school. I don't think I would have my picture made in a shirt that says 'I like to get wasted and f---'(see, my morals won't even let me spell that word!), and then publicly put other people's morals in question. Maybe you just couln't ever get one of those 'loose' cheerleaders to ---- you."
"Your pseudo-intellectual drivel will only fool the dumbest of liberals. Whether your conversion is based on getting tail, or whether it's based on some other self-serving end, it's not fooling me. I know all about John Galt. Go out and do something good for people, rather than hopping ideologies and dripping with inflammatory speech. "
"WTF. Seriously, dude. I'm familiar with A Modest Proposal, I get the concept of satire, but if you were attempting to transpose that into your own, er, idiom, you failed. It's actually impossible for me to tell if you're approaching this from a Swiftian position or if you really do hate fat people, and I'm pretty good at picking up on that."
"Are you fucking serious?.Fuck You.!! Mutherfucker you cut my skin I bleed the same blood as you. You should really stop being a bigot fuck, quit separating people. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. FUck you for being Retarded. I hope you have a horrible and painful death, I hope all your worst nightmares come true. You are not worthy to be a man. Piece of shit worthless energy."
"maybe you just follow the crowd vs. thinking for yourself... consider the possibility that you are a douche!"
"Hey big tit lover! I'm a big, fat whore with big fat tits. If you want to make an appointment with me, you qualify for the douchebag special. I mean, you're not really such a sexist, insecure idiot, right? Also, as an added bonus, I'll stick my unlubed fist up your asshole FREE OF CHARGE."




