Equality of Tyrants vs. Freedom of Bigots

Update: Governor signs marriage into law on June 3. Congrats, NH, you are officially no longer a redneck state... well... more or less.

 

 

Opposition to gay marriage is rooted in the ludicrous cherry-picking of commandments from a 3,000-year-old anthology of fairy tales, but nevertheless conservatives have the right to believe whatever silliness they want… or do they?

 

On Wednesday the New Hampshire House of Representatives axed a bill that would have legalized gay marriage. Their objection: as written, religious organizations could refuse to provide resources for same-sex ceremonies, and deny services such as counseling, to same-sex couples. Gov. John Lynch, a Democrat, had committed to signing the compromise legislation, but he was lynched by House Democrats—and a gay Republican, as if there is any other kind—who view such protections as either redundant or codified bigotry.

 

This kind of equality-by-force miraculously grants a glimmer of legitimacy to paranoid Jesus Freak right-wingers who actually worry about scenarios like this (TEH GAYZ ARE COMIN’, TEH GAYZ ARE COMIN’ 2 SODMIZE UR FREEDUMZ!) and it will backfire on the cause itself, alienating mainstream Americans who might otherwise be open to changing their minds on the issue, presuming… you know… the Fucking First Amendment isn’t overturned.

 

The people who introduced secularism to the world surely would loathe modern conservatives who sneer at the separation of church and state (and then hypocritically wrap themselves in the flag), but very well might loathe the spirit on display in New Hampshire. “[I]n this land of equal liberty it is our boast that a man’s religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the laws,” wrote George Washington, no fan of theocracy. A fiercer critic of religion, Thomas Jefferson (who believed the church “in every age … has been hostile to liberty”), defended the ideological rights of his theological opponents: “All persons shall have full and free liberty of religious opinion; nor shall any be compelled…” And then for good measure he doggy-styled one of his luscious slaves.

 

Forcing religious citizens to violate their faith is just as un-American as forcing non-theists to worship. Many European countries punish religious criticism of homosexuality with fines and jail time, just as homosexuality is punished in awful backward fundamentalist oligarchies such as Saudi Arabia, Iran and Texas. But this is America, and in America you get the freedom to be an asshole—or have sex with one—no matter whether your opinion infuriates other assholes. Our incivility is basic civics!

 

When I vented my frustration over this New Hampshire debacle to a left-wing friend of mine, expecting him to agree with me on both ideological and tactical grounds, I received a surprising response: “Fuck religion.” Well, yes, I concur—fuck religion—but I wouldn’t force an Orthodox rabbi to officiate at my hypothetical wedding to a shikse WASP goddess.

 

At a press conference last week Carrie Prejean, the gay-bashing beauty queen, bellowed “don’t let anyone take your freedom away,” as if she were Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart. (I’m too busy masturbating to her nudie pics to look up the exact quote.) I screamed at the television: “YOU are taking people’s freedom away,” which epitomizes the entire American conservative movement: whining about persecution while trying to curtail the liberties of others. And yet, sometimes that hypocrisy goes both ways.

 

Politics is the art of compromise, as the cliché goes, and ideological purity leads to the electoral wasteland. (See: U.S. Republican Party, 2006-2999.) If gay marriage passes on a state by state basis, it doesn’t matter if some churches refuse to host the ceremonies or provide services, but it does matter if politicians gut the Bill of Rights for a short-term absolutist victory over cultural forces that will perish in a generation anyway. Ends and means, goddamnit!

 

Traditionalists of previous eras opposed emancipation, suffrage and interracial marriage on religious grounds, of course, and it’s obviously good that we punish discrimination based on race. A victory through dialogue, however, is better than a victory through force… just like gay sex through dialogue is way better than gay sex through force, as any prisoner will tell you.

 

The rejected N.H. bill is now reassigned to a subcommittee for reviewing and rewriting. Live free or die? Wait and see…