Books

Death to All Cheerleaders | Generation S.L.U.T. | Dumbocracy

 
Dumbocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots

 

The Disinformation Company
Release Date: September 2008
224 pages, $16.95
ISBN-10: 1934708062
 
We hear much about the all-powerful "bases" of each major party. Who are these activists? What drives them? And why are they equally dangerous to our lives, liberties, and pursuits of happiness?
 
In Dumbocracy, journalist Marty Beckerman spends four years with foot soldiers of the Left and Right—pro-choice and anti-choice, pro-gay rights and anti-gay rights, pro-war and anti-war—and delivers a searing, hilarious indictment of the True Believer mentality. Whether it's banning free speech to protect people's feelings or banning adult entertainment to enforce morality, extremists have no use for our civil liberties. The ends justify the means for each side—such as brainwashing children and criminalizing dissent—because culture warriors have no other reason for living than victory.
 
However, Beckerman is unafraid to expose their tactics—and their never-ending hypocrisies—with comical, over-the-top glee worthy of South Park or The Daily Show. No extremist will escape unscathed, but moderate readers of all stripes will relish Beckerman's iconoclasm. Beckerman's grand political satire will have readers laughing on the floor and ripping the hair from their scalps.
 
Praise for Dumbocracy
 
"Dumbocracy is a thoughtful book with great shock value geared to awaken, entertain and enlighten Marty's generation about the freedoms embedded in our Bill of Rights. Beyond the spoofing, it is passionate, scholarly, and delivers the message that young people need to hear."
—Former U.S. Senator and presidential candidate Mike Gravel

"[A] great book... I would certainly second everything Mike [Gravel] said."
—Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"Beckerman uses the deft and subtle touch of a sledgehammer. If you can read this entire book without being offended, then there is a good chance that you are illiterate. If you can read this entire book and not enjoy it, then there's a good chance you take yourself too seriously."
—Christian Lander, bestselling author of Stuff White People Like

"Marty Beckerman is one of the great young journalists of our time."
—Mancow Muller, syndicated radio host and author of Dad, Dames, Demons, and a Dwarf

"[H]ilarious yet powerful... many of his rants are on point. ... And if he makes young readers pay attention to politics, more power to him."
—Rachel Kramer Bussel, Penthouse

"[S]harp, insightful, smart, caustic and brutal... the book was a breeze to go through. ... [Rating:] 9/10"
—Eric Vondran, iheartchaos.com

"Beckerman's tone brings to mind more war-oriented phrases like 'search and destroy' or 'scorched earth policy.' All this, of course, with a heavy dose of sardonic humor. ... Beckerman is an equal opportunity insurrectionist... another trenchant voice for the politically disaffected."
—Tim Gebhart, BlogCritics.org

"[V]ery funny and astute commentary. Beckerman obviously has done his homework, and there is no paucity of levity in this book. ... [W]e need someone like Beckerman to step back and throw a metaphorical pie in these jokers’ eyes."
—Doug Holder, arts editor of the Somerville News

"[H]ilarious satire and shocking truth... The book was a very enjoyable read. ... [A] great call to action for civil libertarians..."
—Independent Political Report

"Best. Book. Ever. Go buy it."
—Alex Koroknay-Palicz, executive director of the National Youth Rights Association

"If offensive humor is your thing, then Dumbocracy will be your bible. Finally! A book that cuts through all the P.C. bullshit and sheds light on how truly ludicrous and bipolar our political system has become ... brimming with humor... poignant... if you like South Park, The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, you won’t be able to hold in your laughter..."
—The University of Oregon Daily Emerald

"Dumbocracy doesn’t hold any punches... Beckerman is able to bring humor, research and wicked morbidity to all the third rails in politics today. ... [A]n incredibly thoughtful and well researched book."
—Martin Andrade, LookTrueNorth.com

"4 of 5 stars... Marty Beckerman has provided some much-needed comic relief... many laugh-out-loud moments... biting wit and commentary... you will laugh till your sides hurt..."
—Michele Jacobsen, A Reader's Respite

"[Beckerman] finds people, right and left, who want to ban, tax or restrict anything you might enjoy... Overall, if you want to boss people around, you probably should read Dumbocracy for all of our sake. But you won't like it. And if you don't want to boss people around, you'll actually enjoy this book."
—J.D. Tuccille, Examiner.com

"Beckerman, a self-described professional asshole ... goes beyond tipping the Sacred Cows of American Politics; he eviscerates them, bathes in their blood, makes suspenders from their intestines, and runs naked through the field of carcasses. He’s profane, mean-spirited, obscene, and damned hysterical. ... [H]is chapters are stuffed to the gills with quotes and footnotes and statistics. ... He’s a funny writer, and my copy sits beside me filled with little red stickies to remind me of passages worth repeating."
—Pajiba.com

"[R]arely seen honesty and shocking bluntness. ... All in all a funny read with a serious message and unforgiving repartee. It’s like Marty set fire to the face of extremist America and tried to put it out with a pitchfork."
—Martin Flynn, HSTbooks.wordpress.com

"[H]ilarious and scathing... refreshing... quality entertainment... Beckerman's satirical ravings bring tears to the eyes and pain to the diaphragm from all the subsequent laughter. ... This is a must read for anyone... Go out today, purchase a copy, laugh a lot..."
—Karen Tableiou, the Western Illinois University Western Courier

"[S]imilar to Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi... Very funny... this is an entertaining book to read... there is actually some very impressive analysis, too... Hell, after I was done, I wanted to have a beer with the author and I don’t even drink."
—Hemant Mehta, FriendlyAtheist.com

"Dumbocracy will have readers laughing ... and then angrily clawing at their eyes... a rather quick and quirky read... similar to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, with healthy research. ... Dumbocracy is a welcome kick in the gonads."
—Jason Jandura, the University of West Florida Voyager

"[F]unny and gleefully provocative."
—Mike Miliard, the Boston Phoenix

"[A]musing, and often laugh-out-loud... Beckerman's research is, to put it in very clear terms, exceptional."
—Ali Eteraz, the Guardian

"[H]ilarious... Marty's book isn't for the faint of heart [but] it's damn funny. ... I found myself laughing out loud more than once, which is always the sign of a good read. ... Recommended!"
—Marissa Priddis, TheLoudLibrarian.com

"Beckerman's writing is the punk rock of journalism, and Dumbocracy is a refreshing and amusing insight to a world that's often neither."
—Melanie Falina, UnRated Magazine

"[A] screamingly funny yet deadly serious book ... Dumbocracy should be required reading for moderates, centrists and independent voters ... Beckerman, by the way, should also be required reading for those looking for a role model for a form of journalism not as staid as a typical (dying) newspaper’s... A review can’t really do Beckerman’s book justice... Nor is it easy to do justice to the genius of his writing... On a scale of five stars, we give it five stars."
—Joe Gandelman, editor-in-chief of The Moderate Voice

"Beckerman attacks the hot-button issues with a hilariously irreverent humor that makes you squirm, ponder and laugh."
—Chris Catania, PopMatters.com

"A Must Read! ... Marty has a gift for being able to seamlessly blend sophomoric humor and brilliant insight. ... Not only do I recommend this book, but if it were up to me it would be required reading."
—Texrants.blogspot.com

"[T]here's almost always a chuckle every paragraph or three... it's a generally entertaining book that most people will enjoy reading, especially if they don't mind seeing a few of their own oxen gored, and are willing to console themselves with a large drink or other irresponsible pastime. Which Beckerman would argue is how more people ought to spend their hours rather than trying to enforce rules of ideological and moral virtue on each other."
—Hill-kleerup.org

"Pulling no punches, [Beckerman] attacks all the horrendous extremes and calls them out for what they are with the biting humor and satire that the rational reader will love. Dumbocracy is a must read for anyone who sees current politics as one elaborate joke."
—Midwest Book Review

"While Beckerman provides many facts and figures that show he has done much research on these subjects, make no mistake: this is a Molotov cocktail of in-your-face satire. ... If you can look past the false bravado of Beckerman’s 'persona' ... this is an engaging and enlightening–as well as sometimes infuriating–collection of essays."
—BerniE-zine

"[G]rossly inappropriate, but also one-of-a-kind and unforgettable... Daily Show-esque... well-researched... mind-blowing... The most refreshing part of Beckerman’s work is his absolutely non-PC style of writing. ... Dumbocracy is a must-have... readers will want to read [it] over again just to get the facts straight and retell the jokes to friends... an essential account of the errors in judgment made by people who blindly do what they are told without question."
—Marina Ricci, CollegeNews.com
 
"This is called thinking. And if more people - on both sides - were prepared to acknowledge their own shifts of view and to explain and examine exactly why they have changed with the times, our public discourse would be immeasurably improved."
—Andrew Sullivan, the Atlantic, responding to Marty Beckerman's Salon.com article
 
Table of Contents
 
Introduction: Douche Bag Nation
Castration Nation vs. Procreation Nation (Or, “Abortion: What’s the Big Fucking Deal?”)
Sodomization Nation vs. Salvation Nation: When One Man’s Moral Wrong Makes Another Man’s Penis Long
Invasion Nation vs. Negotiation Nation: Making the World Safe for Dumbocracy
Terrorization Nation vs. Zionization Nation
Moralization Nation vs. Intellectualization Nation: The Decline and Fall of American Civilization
Prohibition Nation Introduction: A Tirade Against Puritanism
Prohibition Nation vs. Masturbation Nation
Prohibition Nation vs. Intoxication Nation
Prohibition Nation vs. Oral Fixation Nation
Youngsters of Zion
Jew-Boy Looks for God, Finds Drugs Instead
My Odyssey from Teenage Communist to College Republican to So Fucking Ashamed

 


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 Generation S.L.U.T. (sexually liberated urban teens): A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace

 

MTV/Pocket Books (Simon & Schuster)
Release Date: February 2004
210 pages, $11.95
ISBN: 0743471091
 
A report from the American hook-up culture, Generation S.L.U.T. takes the reader undercover and under the covers. Filled with statistics, news reports and confessions from real teenagers nationwide—as well as a fictional novella tying it all together—Generation S.L.U.T. will leave even the most cynical readers crying tears of heartbreak and laughter.
 
Praise for Generation S.L.U.T.
 
"Required reading. ... 21-year-old Beckerman skewers Britney's followers."
—The New York Post

"Good work, you morbid little bastard."
—Hunter S. Thompson
Author, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"Marty Beckerman is a tree of hope growing out of his generation's scary, vacant swamp of hormone-drenched self-absorption. No wonder he can't get laid."
—Neal Pollack
Author, Alternadad

"Beckerman truly acts as the voice of his generation. … He is refreshingly brutal and unapologetic in his writing, qualities that give him the credit to be taken seriously despite his young age. … What's great about Beckerman's style is that he accepts the world around him, but uses his narratives as giant question marks. … His book serves as an interesting (and sometimes morbid) perspective into the lives of America's future."
—Lollipop Magazine

"Endlessly surprising, totally original, and very powerful. ... Highly recommended."
—Joseph Weisberg
Author, 10th Grade

"A thing of beauty. ... Generation S.L.U.T. is something special. ... Anything by Marty Beckerman has instant cool cred."
—Ned Vizzini
Author, Teen Angst? Naaah..., Be More Chill and It's Kind Of a Funny Story

"Smart, direct, with the kind of bite that just might do some good in this wonderful hellhole we all inhabit."
—David Amsden
Author, Important Things That Don't Matter

"Riddled with fun factoids and weighted with deep, unmitigated self-awareness, Generation S.L.U.T. is a fantastic read. Unlike many young authors who've shot their literary loads before their prime, Beckerman is just getting started. Thank God."
—Mark Ebner
Author, Hollywood Interrupted and Six Degrees of Paris Hilton

"I couldn't put the damn thing down. ... Honestly, I loved the book. I already have a list of friends who want to borrow it, as I've been raving about it pretty much nonstop."
—Scott Heisel
Editor, PunkNews.org

"Just the right mix of shocking, tragic, and hilarious. The work of a 20-year-old genius."
—Jenna Glatzer
Editor, AbsoluteWrite.com

"The quality of Beckerman's writing is astonishing. Generation S.L.U.T. achieves a glorious momentum that compels the reader to keep turning the pages—and eagerly so. A wonderful window into the lives of young people today."
—Rodger Streitmatter, ph.D.
Senior Associate Dean, American University School of Communication

"Generation S.L.U.T. is a book that needs to be read. There is a lot of information included in this book that cannot be ignored, and it is presented in a way that is also entertaining. However, it needs to be approached with an open mind and taken seriously.
—The Texas A&M Batallion

"Reminiscent of Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero and C.D. Payne's Youth in Revolt, and detested by family-values pimping culture cops, Beckerman's second book is an attention-grabbing spectacle of libido run amuck... Such gruesome satire isn't likely acceptable from an older writer. From a twenty-something striver, though, such lambasting of good taste with vivid exaggeration is rewarded with both tolerance and, dare I say, glee, even with so obviously noxious a subject."
—Garrett Chaffin-Quiray, PopMatters.com

"It's one thing to write an intersting piece of fiction; it's quite another to write one that makes a social statement at the same time. Beckerman manages to do both seamlessly here. Overall, an excellent novel; very fast read as well."
—Bret Schyler, NotAnExit.net

"The work is a surprisingly nuanced critique of contemporary culture."
—The Washington City Paper

"[The book] will shock the hell out of any parent, and the author manages to do this before page one. ... A downright convincing depiction of the sex scene among America’s youth."
—University of Alaska Northern Light

"[S]cathing humor-cum-social commentary... Beckerman is reckless, onanistic, and indulgent on an Eggers-ian scale. He's also a sick, funny little fucking motherfucker."
—San Francisco Weekly

"Beckerman's angry, vulgar, smart voice is both tempered and amplified by an almost philosophical understanding of his situation. I read this and think of Lenny Bruce, and there's little praise higher."
—Carrie Hill Wilner, former editor of Nerve.com

"Generation S.L.U.T. firmly establishes Marty Beckerman as the Lenny Bruce of his generation. The best and funniest book about young lust I've read in ages, yet also sweet and romantic in ways that will get him laid a lot."
—John Strausbaugh
Author, Sissy Nation

"Written by a twenty-year-old precocious scribe with an ego the size of Texas, the book relates in terrifically described vignettes the problems and pressures that teens of this modern era are constantly being bombarded by. ... For the most part, his story rings true and brings with it a sense of dire humor. ... Still, this is a fun book, or morbidly curious might be a better term. ... This is a gifted writer and especially for one so young."
—Steven Rosen, CurledUp.com

"The most powerful moments in the book come without warning... Beckerman depicts sympathetic people who behave in hateful ways and, in doing so, manages to capture something essential about our generation."
—The Brown University Daily Herald

"It is not an easy book to read (due to the subject matter, not the writing), though it becomes addictive... The result is an effectively bewildering kaleidoscope of thoughts and images... This book is a discomfiting and necessary reminder... I honestly believe that both teenagers and their parents would benefit from reading Generation S.L.U.T. ... Anyone who wants to figure out what's going on with teens today should read this book... it is a very promising beginning for a young writer who has already proved he can produce solid work."
—Teenwriting.About.com

"What gives Beckerman the authority to write such a disquieting book in the first place is that he has witnessed the horrors and downfalls of his own generation first hand... This aspect lends credibility to his arguments, as he hasn't completely exonerated himself from those he criticizes... Beckerman possesses a caustic delivery and an uncanny ability to expose the hypocrisy of his peers. Underneath his obvious disdain for the knuckle-dragging pleasure seekers of his text, it's quite obvious that Beckerman harbors a deep sadness for the lost souls of Generation Y... Given some time and development, Marty Beckerman just might emerge as a groundbreaking social commentator."
—KnotMag.com

"It’s a funny but also complex book... It may be too soon for Beckerman to calcify this generation as anything. But Beckerman is such a strong fiction writer that he is able to overcome those shortcomings."
—Daniel Robert Epstein, SuicideGirls.com

"Funny and disturbing."
—The University of San Diego Guardian

"Amazing. ... It's the honesty that keeps you involved."
—Bolt.com

"Makes for a haunting and (as the title portends) brutal vision of the life of a teenager in the new millennium. ... Marty Beckerman's achievement will be determined reader by reader. But with 'Generation S.L.U.T.,' he at very least issues notice -- Generation Y has a spokesperson, whether they like it or not."
—EdgeCity.net

"One may initially think that Beckerman is writing from the point-of-view of a virginal prude. However ... it is evident that he's had sexual experience. The difference between him and the average college student is his level of awareness at his surroundings. ... Generation S.L.U.T is clever and progressive, and Marty Beckerman has the potential to be a strong voice for our generation."
—The University of California, Irvine New University

"[C]hilling... it's this skillfully edited compilation of contemporary teen attitudes toward sex that is perhaps this disturbing book's best justification for purchase."
—Booklist

"It is shocking, powerful, and above all enlightening... The results are frightening."
—BookReviewCafe.com

"The U.S. literary scene is in dire need of a young, outspoken, original bomb thrower. Enter Marty Beckerman... [one] of the best young writers around."
—Michael Schaub, Bookslut.com

"Hilarious, and just a little bit sad."
—The Yale University Daily News

"I can't think of anything I've read lately that's more horrifying ... Use this opportunity to buy up as many copies of Generation S.L.U.T. as you can get your hands on—first editions of Generation S.L.U.T. will be worth a fortune. ... The book is a remarkable achievement, the best history book of the year, and I'm quite sure that future scholars trying to dig up the facts about life at the turn of the century will turn to Generation S.L.U.T. ... A mandatory text. ... Written tribute to the unalterable power of passion, self-knowledge, and truth in its many forms."
—Michael Dare, DareLand.com

"The story itself is engaging and interesting... Generation S.L.U.T. is a book worthy of your cash. The book's main story is well written, both emotionally and plot wise, and the characters can be connected with easily. ... Overall, this book is fun, frightening, silly, and shocking, all of which create a book completely worth checking out."
—Ink19.com

"A bright, obsessive volume. ... There is truly something for everyone in this book... Beckerman has an astounding nerve... Beckerman’s book reads a bit like a pastiche of several recent popular stories — American Psycho; Girl, Interrupted; and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are all very much there. ... Marty is also bitingly honest about his own unsympathetic hormones. Readers are affected by his book in part because it makes them confront their own inadmissible demons."
—Stephanie Gorton, the University of Edinburgh Student Independent Voice

"Four and a half stars: Generation S.L.U.T. is an often hilarious account of teen escapades while at the same time offering a sobering and disturbing look at the promiscuity, violence and drug/alcohol abuse... [L]aid out in very blunt, graphic language that is almost refreshing in its political incorrectness."
—Chris Atchison, Metro Toronto

"The fiction is much better than you'd expect from a college kid, and there's an unmistakably MTV style to the presentation—which is meant to appeal to the book's intended audience: Generation Y."
—Matt Borondy, IdentityTheory.com
 
"Its sum total is a truthful and necessary message for parents, teenagers, and educators."
—Jon Henshaw, M.A., FamilyResource.com
 
"[Q]uick wit and powerful convictions... his tone quickly shifts from sarcasm to sobering seriousness... Beckerman has produced a manifesto not replete with answers and solutions, but one that asks the questions that aren't often asked,
providing a voice to a generation drowning in its own apathetic complicity."
—The Kentucky Kernel (University of Kentucky)

"I really, really hated your book. You come off like a knee-jerk moralist casting about for the easiest target for blame. I'm going to have to just pin my hope on your outlook deepening with age and experience."
—Andi Zeisler
Founding Editor, Bitch Magazine

 
Table of Contents
 
Friday
My Make-Out Session with Watermelon Tits
Saturday
My Unforgettable Prom Date with a Dirty Rotten Whore
Sunday
Marty Beckerman Goes to College
Monday
Dispatches from the Apocalypse: September 11, 2001
Tuesday
A Letter to Andy Williams, Fifteen-Year-Old Murderer
Wednesday
Turning Twenty in the Year of the Damned: Assorted Reflections on My World, My Generation, My Penis
 


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Death to All Cheerleaders: One Adolescent Journalist's Cheerful Diatribe Against Teenage Plasticity

 

Infected Press
Release Date: September 2000
163 pages, $12.95
ISBN: 0970062907

The book that started the Legend of Beckerman! Adolescent culture in America has degenerated to an all-time low. Fickle pretensions, capricious brand name loyalties and plain old idiocy are infesting high schools throughout the nation more now than ever before. But seventeen-year-old Alaskan humor columnist Marty Beckerman rises like a phoenix from the sordid ashes of his generation, utilizing a vicious wit to show just how much greater the world might be if we were to simply get rid of all its worthless people. Moronic cheerleaders, phony psychics, teen beauty queens and evil hippies: take warning… your time has come!

Praise for Death to All Cheerleaders

"A hilarious gash against hypocrisy, mostly by way of high school femininity."
—PopMatters.com

"Funny stuff. ... Marty is a very precocious smart-ass with a mean streak of cynicism."
—New York Press

"His articles show the evils in this world as he sees them, and take us through the typical teenage rites of passage... His talent, wit, and confrontational nature promise him a bright future."
—The University of Maryland Mitzpeh

"Marty comments on what others would simply accept as standard practice."
—Netsurfer Digest

"Once the initial shock of Beckerman's profanity and hatred wears off, there are some highly readable and humorous gags. ... Frequently hilarious."
—The Anchorage Daily News

"Marty Beckerman [is] a beacon of light to those who are lost in a sea of hackneyed wit and political correctness. ... He combines sharp humor with cynicism in a way that most 'shock' journalists only dream and possesses a certain technique of deviating from typical comedy writing that makes him great."
—I-Mockery.com

"[Beckerman is] able to have you rolling on the floor in a convulsive fit of relentless laughter. ... He is ruthless and tactless in his satirization of the targets of ridicule... Beckerman is at his best when he is incorporating his wit into interviews with cheerleaders, psychics, and religious zealots. ... It is very well worth the cost. Don't miss out on this one."
—The University of California Long Beach Union

Table of Contents

You Just Can't Lose When Jesus Is On Your Cheerleading Squad
Lust: A Pathetic Memoir
Pink Spandex, Woman Battering and the Angry White Man
Drowning in Bullshit at the Winter Psychic Fair
Trepidation
You Can Get It If You Use Your Teeth
Dear Christine
Fun with Cows (Dead and Alive)
My Day as a Cheerleader
Corpulence: A Tale of Survival
The Brightest Star
Exobiological: A Science-Fiction Epic
Is That a Warhammer in Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Gangsta Bitch
Ubiquitous
Death to All Cheerleaders
Death to All Cheerleaders, Part Two
Time: A Play
Plasticity Shrugged
Boy and Dog
My Make-Out Session with Watermelon Tits
The Zoo: Great Place for Families, Tiger Urine
Food Poisoning: The Fun Alternative to Not Vomiting
My Chat with Henry Rollins, Punk Rock Legend
Frigid
 


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